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Band 3.5

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to work harder. Do you agree?

#employers #holidays #employees #work
There are three significant justifications why I think that entrepreneurs should provide more holidays for many workers to urge them to
work
 more.
First
 of all, employees can obtain holidays to feel relaxed. Almost all workers
work
 around eight hours per day for many months.
Hence
, if they do other activities on their leisure days,
then
 they can lessen their stress which has accumulated for a long time.
Next
, employees can gain some inspiration to improve their
work
 or live. There are some occupations in which people usually find creative ideas to apply
for
Suggestion
in
 their
work
.
For example
, most writers frequently do not sit in the room to write their books.
Furthermore
, they travel around the world and exchange their opinions with other people to bring these ideas to illustrate in their books. Eventually, employees can manage their
work
 balances to obtain better lives. They can spend
holidays
Suggestion
the holidays
 relaxing with their family to strengthen their relationships.
Moreover
, if they might have good relations with colleagues,
then
 they can communicate to
work
 easily. For these three reasons, managers should yield more holidays for certain
laborers
someone who works with their hands; someone engaged in manual labor
labourers
 to stimulate them to gain some inspiration, to improve their
work
 and to manage their
work
 balances.
Submitted by singandsongenglishtothemax on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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