IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of their food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.

The charts below show the percentage of their food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants.
#show #percentage #food #budget #restaurant #meals #years #restaurants
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The pie charts represent the proportion of the average household's allotted money for eating out in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a restaurant
restaurants
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restaurants
 in four distinct years (1970 to 2000),
while
 the line graph compares the total number of foods consumed by the family in 2 different
restaurants
 (fast food and sit-down
restaurants
).
Overall
, we can see that the budget for eating in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
restaurants
 increased over the given period,
whereas
 cooking at home declined.
Moreover
,
although
 the two
restaurants
 we popular in the initial year, eating
in
Change preposition
apply
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fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 became more famous
at
Change preposition
in
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 the final year. In detail, in 1970,
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
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 meals were the favourite family's choice of food, which accounted for 90%
compared
Change preposition
of compared
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 to only 10% of eating out in a restaurant.
However
, by 2000, the rate
Add a missing verb
had begun
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begun
Add the auxiliary verb
began
has begun
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 to increase for the latter, wherein both of the options had 50%. Meanwhile, the popularity of both fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 and sit-down
restaurants
 rose in the years covered. To be specific, both stood at 20 meals per year in 1970, after which it experienced an increase in the following decades with fast food having almost 90 servings daily and 50 servings for sit-down
restaurants
.
Submitted by ptds1022 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words restaurants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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