IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family
for six months and look after their six- year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter
- Explain why you would like the job
- give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ
- say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #six- #child #parents #job #person #time #australia
Dear sir and Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to the response of advert you have given in an Oppo Magazine for the need of
guardian
Add an article
a guardian
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 to your toddler son.
Moreover
, I will get a chance to have an experience of living with
Australian
Correct article usage
an Australian
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 Family. I am here in Australia for
internship
Correct article usage
an internship
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 in Prime Technical Solution for eight months. Back in India, I live in joined
Punjabi
Correct article usage
the Punjabi
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 family with three children of my brother. They are
also
 of
a
Change the article
the
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 same age, and they love my company because of my friendly nature. So, I would like to have the same surrounding here in the working country. My job in Australia going to be telecommuting, which means
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most of
time
Correct article usage
the time
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 going to be in front of
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
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 working from home, there would be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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only two visits to the office in a week. My work profile made me an ideal candidate for the job, as I can keep a good eye on your kid.
Lastly
, I would like to visit the best malls of Sydney and photograph the
day
Replace the word
daily
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 chaos of the street of
city
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the city
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. I have a great interest in photography and would like to
Correct your spelling
pursue
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purse
Correct your spelling
pursue
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 it as
profession
Add an article
a profession
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 in near future. I hope mentioned above request
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
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 considering. Yours faithfully John Wick
Submitted by The Growth Of Online Shopping Will Lead To The Closure Of Shops In Cities And Towns on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertisement
  • live with
  • look after
  • six-year-old child
  • suitable
  • employ
  • free time
  • Australia
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