In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success

Freedom to choose is a

man

Suggestion

man's

key aspect

Suggestion

humans

Suggestion

human

human's

life

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Some people think that egalitarian societies

Suggestion

are

mandatory for

peronal

concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality

personal

sucess

an event that accomplishes its intended purpose

success

Accept space

however others

Accept comma addition

however, others

think that freedom to succeed and fail will lead them to their individual merits

Accept space

This

essay will discuss the requirement of freedom to

succed

attain success or reach a desired goal

succeed

and fail where it will enhance the confidence and diminish their error

Accept space

To begin

with,

consequent fail

Suggestion

consequently, fail

consequently fail

will lead them to practice more and enhance their

skill

Suggestion

skills

Accept space

As in egalitarian

societies people

Accept comma addition

societies, people

will fear to try their convenient things

Accept space

as they cannot able to do the efficiently with others

guidence

a plot of ground where plants are cultivated

gardens

Accept space

More over

in addition

Moreover

Accept space

less equality

Suggestion

between

people will reduce the chance for the talented people to achieve their requirements

Accept space

Further more

in addition

Furthermore

Accept space

personal success is based upon the

indiviual

a human being

individual

persons

Suggestion

person's

satisfaction

Accept space

People who succeed more things with guided teaching will feel

less confidence

Suggestion

less confident

and satisfaction

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as they cannot repeat the success if provided with

unique challenge

Suggestion

a unique challenge

unique challenges

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Equality is mandatory

Suggestion

increase the competition among people

Accept space

as people who

compeat

compete for something; engage in a contest; measure oneself against others

compete

camped

and success will find personal satisfaction

Suggestion

their work. All things consider

Accept space

, equality an

d peron

concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality

personal

al happines

Suggestion

are

s interconnecti

Suggestion

interconnected

on through providing

chan

Suggestion

chances

ce to all

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

200 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Thesedays, problems with pollution are becoming worse, particularly in large cities. What are the reasons for this and how can this be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuel should be the most important global priority today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Detailed description of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way.