IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contributions to the company by giving them extra money. this practice can act as an incentive for some, but may also have a negative impact on others. To what extent is this style of management effective? Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?

#employers #reward #members #staff #contributions #company #money #practice #act #incentive #impact #style #management #employees #work
Employer
Suggestion
Employee
 morale is an important part of
operating business
Suggestion
an operating business
operating businesses
 that every
employee
 has to be aware of. In
modern office
Suggestion
the modern office
a modern office
modern offices
, giving bonus in
form
Suggestion
the form
 of money for significant
contributor
Suggestion
contributions
 has become a widely accepted strategy to ensure a positive working attitude.
However
,
this
 approach may draw unwanted discontent from others. In order to verify
this
 and finding an alternative method,
further
 investigation will be conducted. On the one hand,
money bonus
Accept comma addition
money, bonus
 can be a great source of motivation.
First
 of all, bonus improves job satisfaction which
also
 serves as an effective way to keep crucial staff member in the organisation.
Secondly
, if there is no bonus for top performer, there will be no competition between employees which will only discourage staffs from surpassing their former self. At some point,
company
Suggestion
the company
companies
a company
 will be treading water and eventually will be outperformed by
rival business
Suggestion
the rival business
.
On the other hand
, extra money is not
ideal especially
Accept comma addition
ideal, especially
 in multidisciplinary company. It is easier to single out top contributor from
sales department
Suggestion
the sales department
 by simply looking at
sale
Suggestion
sales
 figures.
This
 is not the case with other departments
such
 as Research and Development department where contribution is not quantity
hence
 immeasurable. The reward for
this
 type of department is normally handed for the entire team.
This
 will not allow
company
Suggestion
companies
 to target truly hard working and outstanding individual. An alternate policy which can
also
 boost morale is to improve
employee
's fame by awarding
title
Suggestion
the title
 of "
employee
 of the month" and "
employee
 of the year".
This
 can be done through
anonymous voting system
Suggestion
an anonymous voting system
the anonymous voting system
 or collecting feedback and rating from customers to ensure equality between staff.
This
 type of policy is highly effective in hospitality and service industry. In conclusion, the practice of rewarding to exceptional
employee
 can
brings
Suggestion
bring
 more goods than harms.
This
 is why
this
 form of practice is exercised extensively in a variety of industries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: