IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interest, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interest
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Firms sometimes request from people seeking for employments for private details.
Although
 some people believe that
such
information
 may be necessary, other dispute
this
 and argue that it is irrelevant. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both these views and explain my support for the latter view. On the one hand, those who believe that
such
 demands is important might argue that it will enable the company to select from the pool those whom they think is the best fit for the role. An organization will not want to employ people with a history of negligence.
For instance
, The New York Times recently reported that 90% of recruiters who demanded for confidential
information
 from prospective job seekers were successful in recruiting the best for the position compared to those who did not.
Nevertheless
, if those recruited had not succeeded in the role, demanding for
such
 details will
thus
 be irrelevant.
On the other hand
, I would argue that asking for
such
 details is irrelevant.
This
 is not a yardstick on how well the prospective applicant will perform in the task.
For example
, The Sunday Times recently reported that 97% of job seekers who did not provide their personal
information
 before they got employed performed extremely well in the role compared to those who had submitted their details. Notwithstanding, if they had not performed better, demanding for
such
information
 would have become necessary. In conclusion,
although
 some people believe that requesting for private details is very essential as it enable the organization to recruit the best, I strongly believe that
such
 request is not necessary as it has no impact on work performance.
Submitted by ojefobo on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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