IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#demand #electricity #england #winter #summer #english #home #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Bình The graph shows
describe
Correct subject-verb agreement
describes
show examples
typical
Correct article usage
the typical
show examples
 daily demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
 in England in winter and summer. It
Add a missing verb
is clearly
show examples
clearly seen
Add the auxiliary verb
has clearly seen
saw
show examples
 that the highest units of
electricity
Use synonyms
 at 21:00 about 48000.
whereas
Linking Words
 The lowest units of
electricity
Use synonyms
around
Add a missing verb
are around
show examples
 300 about 31000
However
Linking Words
 the demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
lower
Add a missing verb
is lower
show examples
 than the daman for
electricity
Use synonyms
 in winter. From 12 a.
m
Use synonyms
 to 3
a.
Add a comma
,a.m
show examples
m
Use synonyms
 the demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
 in winter
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
5000
Change preposition
by 5000
show examples
 . But ,
next
Linking Words
 3
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
, it
was decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 dramatically
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
 9000. From 6 to
15
Add a comma
,15
show examples
 it
was increase
Change the verb form
was increased
show examples
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
 9000 and remain at 40000 .
Next
Linking Words
 3 hours it was
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 increase
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 6000.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 it decreased dramatically .In summer, from 12 a.
m
Use synonyms
 to 9 a.
m
Use synonyms
, it
was decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 slightly about 2000. Between 9 to
12
Add a comma
,12
show examples
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dramatically
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
repeatly
Correct your spelling
repeatedly
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
 5000 .
Next
Linking Words
 6 hours the highest without 20000 at 22 p.
m
Use synonyms
 The pie chart
describe
Change the verb form
describes
show examples
 what
electricity
Use synonyms
 is used in
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 home. The highest purpose
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 for
heatin
Correct your spelling
heating
 rooms, heating war it hoyt of purpose
electricity
Use synonyms
 is used for .
Second
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ovens, kettles,
washing
Correct word choice
and washing
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 with 17,59.the
last
Linking Words
 is lighting TV , radio and vacuum cleaner,
foor
Correct your spelling
food
for
floor
 mixer , electric tools is some unit about 15%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, next".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "describe" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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