IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

More and more women go out to work. Is it the government's responsibility to subsidise them and provide free staff and facilities to care for their children? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#women #work #government #responsibility #subsidise #staff #facilities #care #children #idea
The given statement argues that the government should take the responsibility in providing certain benefits for employed women who tend to the family needs
such
 as taking care of their children. I completely agree with
this
 statement as the working women do need some support in order to balance their personal and professional life. The
first
 and foremost reason is women go through a lot of physical and psychological changes during their maternity and they can't keep up with their work for
this
 period.
Also
 a growing child needs its mother more than anything else. If a proper support is not given to these women at a time like
this
, they will be left with no other option but resign to their current job.
This
 in turn may lead to many financial problems in their families.
Secondly
, to improve the number of women employees the government should take some measures that can lead to a more comfortable working environment.
This
 not only benefits the women, but
also
 boosts the economy as due to the above stated reasons many potential women out there don't have a choice to work.
Moreover
, are multiple instances around the world where the governments have taken steps to address
this
 issue, like the one in Unied states where it is a women's right to get a maternity leave. So it is clear from
this
 argument that government should take responsibility for making the women's work environment better.They can observe how other countries are taking steps to improve the status of their women and
therefore
 lead to a better economy and living.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: