IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the organization’s success, while others think various features of the organization play a vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #managers #organization’s #success #features #organization #role
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every organisation works in a hierarchy including chief executive officers, managers and other subordinates. Some people believe that top management is responsible for the firm's success.
However
, a handful of people think that other parameters play an indispensable role in achieving the goal of an organisation. I am
strong advocate
Suggestion
a strong advocate
 of
this
 approach and will discuss the benefits in
above paragraphs
Suggestion
the above paragraphs
. To embark on,
company's executives
Suggestion
the company's executives
 play a vital role as the whole responsibility is on their shoulders.
Also
, they are paid huge salary and become perfect in his fields, so they paid full attention towards venture' s work.
For instance
,
Google
CEO Mr
Accept comma addition
CEO, Mr
 Sundar Pichai, engineer by profession, worked as a product manager
in
Suggestion
at
Google
 company and after multiple innovations and development in applications
such
 as
Google
chrome
another word for chromium when it is used in dyes or pigments
Chrome
,
Google
 drive
etcetera
, make
Google
 a well known company in the world.
On the other hand
, not only management but other factors
such
 as lucrative salary packages, modern infrastructure, conducive office environment, firm's plans and policies, play an important role in the victory of an organisation.
For example
, in school and universities, teachers
do
engage in
make
 more effort in making up the result of the school than
principal
Suggestion
principally
 who have an eye on the management works only. To pen down, Every coin has two sides. If well qualified people
is required
Suggestion
are required
 to run the business,
then
 other factors will
also
taken
Suggestion
take
 into consideration. In my opinion, single flower cannot make the garland, it is the joint responsibility of
administrator
Suggestion
administering
administrating
 and workforce to work by giving importance to other points
also
.
Submitted by shivanitanwar570 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: