In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #unemployment #pupils #education #point #hope #job

As the world’s population

grows so

Accept comma addition

grows, so

does the unemployment rates in most countries.

This

leads many people to avow that

education

beyond primary

school

level

is not needed. It is disagreed that

education

beyond primary

school

level

is no longer needed, no matter how high or low the unemployment rates get.

This

will be proven by looking at the sophistication that higher

education

brings with it and how

education

helps to differentiate between the more productive and less productive people.

To begin

, the merits of

education

beyond primary

school

level

are not limited to the technical knowledge gained from the studies, they extend to the courtesies and etiquettes learned by students as they get more mature through

education

For instance

, it is no secret that bullying amongst children is

highest

Suggestion

higher

up until high

school

, it starts to diminish from

thereon

Suggestion

there on

as students become more in-tune to the wrongs and rights. If youngsters, start to drop out of

school

after primary

level

, those bullies, could go on to become juvenile delinquents. After analysing

this

, it is clear that

education

beyond primary

level

is indeed fruitful for the society at large.

Furthermore

, in

absence

Suggestion

the absence

education

, it would be harder for prospective employers to choose between more competent and less competent people. A scenario where all job applicants for a particular job

are

Suggestion

primary

school

level

qualified, employers would be hard pressed to select the best possible candidate for the said job, illustrates

this

point well. Unfortunately, if there are no criteria, upon which to decide between potential employees, the recruitment process will become inept.

Hence

education

beyond primary

school

level

plays a pivotal role in hiring process. In summary, higher

education

has a significant part to play in humanising the youth, and in distinguishing between the skilled and the unskilled.

Thus

, I beg to differ with the idea that

education

beyond primary

level

is not needed. It is hoped that people will continue to acquire knowledge through

education

, regardless of the levels of unemployment.

Submitted by sarahasani1371 on Mon Oct 21 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. But still some people prefer to work in offices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?