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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #unemployment #pupils #education #point #hope #job
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As the world’s population
grows so
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grows, so
 does the unemployment rates in most countries.
This
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 leads many people to avow that
education
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 beyond primary
school
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level
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 is not needed. It is disagreed that
education
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 beyond primary
school
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level
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 is no longer needed, no matter how high or low the unemployment rates get.
This
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 will be proven by looking at the sophistication that higher
education
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 brings with it and how
education
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 helps to differentiate between the more productive and less productive people.
To begin
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, the merits of
education
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 beyond primary
school
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level
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 are not limited to the technical knowledge gained from the studies, they extend to the courtesies and etiquettes learned by students as they get more mature through
education
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.
For instance
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, it is no secret that bullying amongst children is
highest
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higher
 up until high
school
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, it starts to diminish from
thereon
Suggestion
there on
 as students become more in-tune to the wrongs and rights. If youngsters, start to drop out of
school
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 after primary
level
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, those bullies, could go on to become juvenile delinquents. After analysing
this
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, it is clear that
education
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 beyond primary
level
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 is indeed fruitful for the society at large.
Furthermore
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, in
absence
Suggestion
the absence
 of
education
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, it would be harder for prospective employers to choose between more competent and less competent people. A scenario where all job applicants for a particular job
are
Suggestion
is
 primary
school
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level
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 qualified, employers would be hard pressed to select the best possible candidate for the said job, illustrates
this
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 point well. Unfortunately, if there are no criteria, upon which to decide between potential employees, the recruitment process will become inept.
Hence
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,
education
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 beyond primary
school
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level
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 plays a pivotal role in hiring process. In summary, higher
education
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 has a significant part to play in humanising the youth, and in distinguishing between the skilled and the unskilled.
Thus
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, I beg to differ with the idea that
education
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 beyond primary
level
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 is not needed. It is hoped that people will continue to acquire knowledge through
education
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, regardless of the levels of unemployment.
Submitted by sarahasani1371 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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