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Writing Samples
Band 1

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym or sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#employers #offer #employees #membership #gym #sports #clubs #staff #work #benefit
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recognittion
Suggestion
Recognition
Recognittion
,
appreciaton
understanding of the nature or meaning or quality or magnitude of something
appreciation
appreciating
, productivity, effective, -
yes
Suggestion
Yes
, some people gym, sports
activities etc
Accept comma addition
activities, etc.
activities etc.
neceesaary
absolutely essential
necessary
-
effctive
producing or capable of producing an intended result or having a striking effect
effective
, relax their mind and
conentrate
make denser, stronger, or purer
concentrate
 on
work
inorder
Suggestion
in order
 to increase the productivity. And
also
, they will get more excited to come to
work place
a place where work is done
workplace
 to participate in their
intersted
having or showing interest; especially curiosity or fascination or concern
interested
 activity.
secondly
Suggestion
Secondly
, some employers see no benefit because of workers might
loose
fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense
lose
 their concentration on
work
 and concentrate greatly on extra curricular activities
.
Accept space
.
Moreover some
Accept comma addition
Moreover, some
 employers think of funds and don't want to spend money
in
Suggestion
on
 extra activities.
Lastly
, my opinion would be to give some fresh air to employees by conducting activities, sports clubs,
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
 in appropriate times and supporting to do workouts in their mean time or after
work
 to get healthier is a good
statergy
an elaborate and systematic plan of action
strategy
 to get workers fit into their position and
also
 benefits their strength for the company's growth.
Submitted by salesforcemadhuri on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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