IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
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Nowadays millions of online shops are doing
business
Use synonyms
 and
develope
make something new, such as a product or a mental or artistic creation
develop
 rapidly. The majority of traditional
shops concern
Accept comma addition
shops, concern
 if they will bankrupt soon due to the fast growing online shopping.
Linking Words
However some
Accept comma addition
However, some
 people argue That a great deal of shops can still survive.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the online shops
always offer
Suggestion
always offers
is always offering
 a very competitive
price
Use synonyms
 in order to obtain more and more consumers. They can always provide attractive promotion and sell the products
in
Suggestion
at
 bottom
price
Use synonyms
 because they do not have to pay the extra rental for the physical shops.
For example
Linking Words
, in my own country, the daily
turn over
the ratio of the number of workers that had to be replaced in a given time period to the average number of workers
turnover
 of Tao Bao
on line
on a regular route of a railroad or bus or airline system
online
 shop is about 1o million, which is an astonishing amount.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the people are Keen on shopping on
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 because it can save, time. Especially the young generation
are
Suggestion
is
 likely to browse the website of the shops at home in a comfortable atmosphere. They may flexibly select the goods that they like without the persuading from the shop staff. They can
also
Linking Words
 compare the prices between
various shops
Suggestion
the various shops
 due to
price
Use synonyms
 - checking system.
However
Linking Words
, some people said the traditional shops would still have their opportunities to retain their
business
Use synonyms
. They suggest the owners of the chain stores or department stores can build up the online shops as well so as to maintain a stable
business
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. Actually, there a lot of shops that have built up their online shops,
such
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 as the renowned sport shop Nike. All the shops should look for a correct manner to increase their
business
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. All in all, it is difficult to say that what is the advantage or disadvantage
for
Suggestion
of
 online shopping. In my opinion, the owners of
Use synonyms
business
Suggestion
the business
businesses
 should attain to check the trend of the
business
Use synonyms
 and quote a best
price
Use synonyms
 for keeping the purchasers.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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