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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph represents the proportion of individuals
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are living in urban
areas
Use synonyms
. The
grapch
Correct your spelling
graph
 depicts the evolution of the
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 during a 100 years
study
Change preposition
of study
show examples
, taken in 6 different
areas
Use synonyms
 of the globe,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Africa, Asia, Europe, Latin America/Caribbean, North America and Oceania.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
striking
Replace the word
strikingly
show examples
 evident an increasing tendency in
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in urban
areas
Use synonyms
, whilst some
areas
Use synonyms
 experienced
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a steady or sharp
increase
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1950 Africa and Asia were the continents
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 showed just 15% and 17%, respectively.
Although
Linking Words
 both have experienced a sharp
increase
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 almost 50% , both regions
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 the ones with the
leasts
Correct your spelling
least
 percentages. Meanwhile, Latin
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
/Caribbean
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 experienced a sharp
increase
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in urban
areas
Use synonyms
. In 1950, the continent had less than 45% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 living in cities,
while
Linking Words
 in 2050 is expected a percentage equal to 80%.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in 2050 will be sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place, as a continent 89%-90% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 cities, with North America
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
testifyied
Correct your spelling
testified
 a steady
increase
Use synonyms
betwenn
Correct your spelling
between
 1950 and 2050.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Europe jumped to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third
Linking Words
 place
while
Linking Words
 experiencing a gradual
increase
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 33% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is common to associate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 growth with their fixation in urban
areas
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words areas, population, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban areas
  • population density
  • economic development
  • historical urbanization
  • trends and outliers
  • urbanization levels
  • socio-economic implications
  • environmental impact
  • urban living
  • global trend
  • development strategies
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