IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You share your room with another student in the college hostel. You find it very difficult to study there because he or she always has parties and friends visiting.Write a letter to the hostel warden complaining about your displeasure with the room mate.

#room #student #college #hostel #study #parties #friends #warden #displeasure #mate
Dear Warden,
This
 is John,a student from your university pursuing
Add a hyphen
second-year
show examples
second year
Add a hyphen
second-year
show examples
 computer science. My enrollment number is 2231 I am writing you
this
 letter to report
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
 about my roommate who has been a
head ache
Correct your spelling
headache
show examples
 for me
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long time. We are currently accommodated by
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Downtown
Add an article
the Downtown
show examples
 residential campus. Its been always a trouble accompanying
because
Correct pronoun usage
them because
him because
her because
show examples
 of the unwanted disturbance he creates. He has a habit of calling his friends to our room and making it a mess by turning it to like a club by increasing the volume from his speakers to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unbearable level. They use it for playing cards all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evening and watching Netflix without turning off the television even in the mid-nights. He always
initiate's
Correct your spelling
initiates
show examples
 partying with his friends without missing a single weekend and making the environment very unfriendly. I have tried to warn him many times and I have informed his parents about
this
, but they couldn't take any action on him.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
 very hard to concentrate on my academics and I am very much worried about my grades as well in the coming examination. Hope you have
understand
Change the verb form
understood
show examples
 the situation. Take necessary action as earliest as possible helping me out by either shifting him or me to another room. Thanks, John.
Submitted by feroz121 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • hostel warden
  • cohabitation
  • disruptive behavior
  • communal living
  • academic performance
  • conducive to studying
  • nocturnal activities
  • amicable resolution
  • accommodation request
  • policy enforcement
  • distraction
  • sleep deprivation
  • noise level
  • mediate
  • courtesy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: