Some people feel that entretainers such as film maker ; pop musicians or sport stars are paid to much money. Do you agree ot disagree ? which other type of job should be highly paid ?

#people #entretainers #film #maker #pop #musicians #sport #stars #money #ot #type #job

Nowadays, it becomes common for a famous person to earn more than the normal range of salary of the country. I disagree because these people sell their image to brands,

such

as L’oreal and Dior. They help these companies

to make

Suggestion

make

money. In

this

essay, I will discuss both parts of

this

question and give several reasons of my point-view.

First

of all, they advertise many logos. Generally, the main cause of their high salary is their international image.

This

one

is used by some brands,

such

as Coca-cola to sell their own products

Suggestion

a bigger scale. These different companies

Suggestion

from

selling their

articles earn

Accept comma addition

articles, earn

billion dollars. I believe that

this

is normal for the star to take a certain

rates

Suggestion

rate

from

Suggestion

their income. Demi

lovato

Suggestion

Lovato

for example

, advertises every day goods that she received from different companies. Only

one

pictures

Suggestion

picture

with

this

manufacture help the producer to sell an important quantity of it.

Thus

, fans who want to look like their

idole

a material effigy that is worshipped

idol

idols

are ready to buy everything.

Moreover

, famous people are currently considered like a Businessman.

In addition

to their

advertise

give heed (to)

adverts

for some industries. They sell their image through their own manufactured products.

Suggestion

It's

become a current practice for a

stars

Suggestion

star

For instance

, Selena Gomez starts to produce

derivated

formed or developed from something else; not original

derived

T-shirt and dolls, whereas Rihana has her own make-up brand.

This

is their major source of income.

However

, I am sure that people who work with them,

such

as their driver or hairdresser could have a more important salary, because it is in a part thanks to them that they are famous.

Therefore

, I think the reason of their enhance income is normal, they just used their name to

built

Suggestion

build

their company in order to earn more. In conclusion,

although

famous people earn a lot. The main reasons are on the

one

hand, they help international industries to market their articles and

on the other hand

, they have their own business. For me, working

Suggestion

an international scale does not have the same consequence than the national or local

one

Submitted by ahmedlahouel5 on Sat Nov 30 2019

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entretainers such as film maker ; pop musicians or sport stars are paid to much money. Do you agree ot disagree ? which other type of job should be highly paid ?

By punishing murderers with death penalty, society is guilty of commiting murder.Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murders. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber-crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?