IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects like history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students to find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #time #subjects #history #people #skills #students #job
One of the important aspect in one’s choice of
education
 is the possibility of securing a good employment opportunity. While it is irrefutable that vocational
education
 is the foundation and fundamental block for one’s career, equal importance is being given to traditional subjects like History. I will discuss the significance of both
type
Suggestion
types
 of subjects in forthcoming paragraphs. Embodiment of practical skills that are imperative for performing actual work is of paramount importance in today’s highly competitive world. If students are not provided with appropriate hands on training of subjects, they might end up as an inappropriate candidate as per industry requirements. To exemplify, in year 2017, a student named as Dhaval Vohra topped the chartered accountancy exam and got a handsomely paying job immediately.
However
, as he had not done proper
articleship
 he was later on fired for lack of practical exposure.
Moreover
, students have to accept jobs that are either underpaying or of a completely different domain that what they have studied.
For instance
, my cousin who was a law student recently accepted
job
Suggestion
a job
 as a secretary at a partnership firm as he had no access to
practicalities
Suggestion
the practicalities
 of court while studying law
at
Suggestion
in
 college.
Furthermore
, inclusion of work related skills in curriculum is beneficial for students as well as the companies. While
student
Suggestion
the student
have
Suggestion
has
 better chances of getting selected for their desired profile, employers
on the other hand
, can save time and money they have to invest in imparting
such
 knowledge to freshman.
Nonetheless
, traditional subjects cannot be totally done away with in school
education
, as the wisdom of today is thankful
to
Suggestion
for
 the experiences of
past
Suggestion
the past
. Subjects
such
 as history and art sensitize adolescents about the glorious past of a nation. It reinforces the traditional values in
present generation
Suggestion
the present generation
 and help in
preservation
Suggestion
the preservation
 of culture and civilisation. To conclude, while the study of traditional as well as modern subjects
holds
Suggestion
hold
 different values for the learner, it is my strong conviction that employment related skills should be emphasized more, for the students reap the fruits of
education
.
Submitted by harshulsoni7991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: