Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

It is certainly understandable that
government
should start looking at ways of improving their public facilities to a sustainable development.
Government
have
Suggestion
has
to make a real innovation in keeping the stability of the society, which means that people should get good service from their
government
. There was a statement said that
government
Suggestion
the government
should utilise the
money
for public importance, and do not use
this
money
for other things like arts (music and theatre). Personally, I disagree with that statement. In the following paragraphs, I will give my reasons to support my opinion. Nowadays, to face the period of development, as a
country
they have to compete with other countries.
Arts
Suggestion
The arts
can offer a positive contribution to the development of the quality of life as a
country
. I believe that each
country
has their
ability
Accept comma addition
ability, then
then
they can compete with the others.
For example
, recently there are some world competitions related to ‘singing’
such
as World Choir Competition, ASIAN Idol, etc. Every
country
sends their best participants to follow the competition. Two years ago, Indonesian delegate taking part in
World Choir Competition
Suggestion
the World Choir Competition
held on 15–17 March 2013 at Belgium. They have to compete with 57 countries, and
finally
, they got gold medals for several categories.
In addition
, I think that if a
government
invests some
money
to
arts sector
Suggestion
the arts sector
, it will create many advantages for the
country
itself.
For instance
, Indonesia has talented people in painting field, it means that they can make a beautiful creation to sale. One of popular painting is ‘Monalisa’ drawing. The Painting already became
everlasting painting
Suggestion
an everlasting painting
because it was drawn by the talented person, which the painter already creates many advantages for himself and his
country
. Another essential thing is people have to make a good teamwork with the
government
to produce huge advantages related to
arts
Suggestion
artistic
art
creations. In conclusion, the
government
should invest some
money
to improve arts creation because it has a big opportunity to make a
country more successful
Suggestion
more successful country
.
Submitted by dila.dcosta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: