IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

#employers #contact #staff #times #holidays #development
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To keep the business running smoothly is the aim of every boss. And in order to achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal, business owners sometime don’t bother about public off days and they don’t hesitate to call their
employees even
Accept comma addition
employees, even
 in those days which they plan to spend with their families. I personally assume that
this
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 strategy is important if there is some deadline to meet
otherwise
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 deteriorate the morale of the people working
in
Suggestion
with
 that organization.
This
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 essay will
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 the impact of the consumption of non-working days
on
Suggestion
in
about
work
Use synonyms
 environment using examples of Oxford University research and Time Magazine survey to demonstrate points and support claims. On the one hand, every commercial domain have to achieve some targets and failing to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 those targets will result in the collapse of that domain.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these outputs are sometimes required so early that managers have to prioritize the
work
Use synonyms
 over leisure activities,
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therefore resulted
Accept comma addition
therefore, resulted
 in calling the people at
work
Use synonyms
 when they are not willing to come.
For example
Linking Words
, an Oxford University research in 2016 clearly shows that commercial empires need their employee’s dedication in
order to compete their
Suggestion
order to compete with their
 rivals. So, it is clear that
worker
Suggestion
worker's
 dedication is must in order to achieve targets even for that they have to
work
Use synonyms
 in the days for which they are not supposed to
work
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, calling people so much by their bosses may mentally disturb them.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
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sometimes result
Suggestion
sometimes results
has sometimes resulted
 in the isolation from their families or friends if certain job demands your 24 hour attention.
For instance
Linking Words
, Time Magazine in January 2016 surveyed about increased depression in certain people and find out that 80 % cases complained about the too much involvement of jobs in their personal lives which sometime let them think that they are like robots. So, from
this
Linking Words
example it
Accept comma addition
example, it
 is clear that personal life is
also
Linking Words
 as important as
work
Use synonyms
 life, and it’s useless to disturb someone during its vacation timing if not required. To conclude, I believe that if owners start thinking about the people who are working for them and value their social life,
similarly
Linking Words
, if
employer
Suggestion
the employer
 needs help to achieve some deadline it’s the liability of workers to dedicate themselves to achieve that goal.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Constant connectivity
  • Workplace availability
  • Crisis management
  • Decision-making
  • Competitive edge
  • Prompt response
  • Flexibility
  • Autonomy
  • Remote work
  • Work-life balance
  • Stress
  • Burnout
  • Personal time
  • Discontent
  • Morale
  • Productivity
  • Proper delegation
  • Team trust
  • Employee well-being
What to do next:
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