IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a goo measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not

#success #terms #money #somebody #wealth #goo #measure
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
non
Suggestion
Non
 financial, I think the not having money is a good way of
caterized
arranged into categories
categorized
cauterized
 as
Use synonyms
success ful individual
Suggestion
a successful individual
successful individual
successful individuals
. On
other hand
Suggestion
the other hand
, someone can itemize
success
Use synonyms
 as doing good deeds to others.
Firstly
Linking Words
, wealth might not be a good measure of
success
Use synonyms
. Because not all rich persons are successful. Some of
the rich
Suggestion
the richest
 non
challant
Suggestion
 attitude cannot control their resources or fame. An example is a recent advert seen
on
Suggestion
in
 the newspaper of a helpless man that earns
high salary
Suggestion
a high salary
 and suddenly lost all his source of
income
Use synonyms
 is currently hopeless and looking for all ends means to sustain his life.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are other ways to
indentify
recognize as being; establish the identity of someone or something
identify
 whether a person is wealthy or not.
This
Linking Words
 will be by showing some good deeds to the homeless and the needy.
This
Linking Words
 method
portays
Suggestion
 a hundred percent characteristic of the person and can easily be
identifed
having the identity known or established
identified
 by the public. On
other hand
Suggestion
the other hand
, rich people do not solely depend on their
Use synonyms
income but
Accept comma addition
income, but
 rather have other source of
income
Use synonyms
 that can sustain them and their unborn children.
For instance
Linking Words
 a recent trend of a
philantropist
someone who makes charitable donations intended to increase human well-being
philanthropist
 and lecturer man
beame
enter or assume a certain state or condition
became
been
 so successful even without having enough source of
income
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, while
success
Use synonyms
 might be measured to what most people earn.
This
Linking Words
 might not be a means to become
successful but rather
Suggestion
successful, but rather
 showing
an
Suggestion
a
 helping
hands
Suggestion
hand
 to others can
potray
portray in words
portray
portrays
 a successful person.
Submitted by rfadipe on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: