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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #households #accommodation #england #wales #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart depicts the comparison of buying and renting homes in two different countries from 1918 to 2011 over a period of 93 years. As an
overall
Linking Words
 trend, the proportion of
households
Use synonyms
 in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 was greater than
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 during that time
whereas
Linking Words
 the maximum percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 was in 2001 and
ratio
Correct article usage
the ratio
show examples
 of citizens who leased houses remained
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
meager
Change the spelling
meagre
show examples
. In 1918
households
Use synonyms
 in purchased
accommodation
Use synonyms
 was approximately 23%. It developed at almost 32% in 1939 and
then
Linking Words
 remained constant until 1953. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 it improved significantly from about 32% to 69 % between 1953 and 2001.
However
Linking Words
, it slightly dropped
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 about 64% in 2011.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in the year 1918, the vast majority of England and Wales citizens
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
chose to
living
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in rented homes with almost 78% of the population living in leased houses.
However
Linking Words
, a mildly rose was seen over the
last
Linking Words
 10 years of around 36%.
Submitted by n.kaur48 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, accommodation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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