IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Leaders and directors in an organization are frequently older people, Some People think young leaders would be better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organization #people
It is true that high positions in any organisation are taken up by elderly people.
However
, some people are discussing that the young people might perform better while they are in charge of the company. While I agree that young people can run the business operations in an efficient manner, letting older people to control the company
also
 have some advantages. On one hand, mature people had a rich amount of experience which they had gained while working in an organisation as compared to the younger.
Secondly
, intense situations, where an important decision has to be taken about the business critical operations, the experienced people tends to be more serene and confident as compared to inexperienced people.
On the other hand
, the young managers can run the company operations in an efficient manner if they were given permission to control it.
Firstly
, they can operate the modern technologies in a much better way as compared to older because they are born in modern life and learning a new skill is very easy for them.
For example
, the use of computers and smartphone is easy for the new generation people as compared to the mature people, which takes days and months to learn that skill.
Furthermore
, young people can work for longer hours as compared to older people, where most of them spent in caring for the family. To conclude,
although
 young people can run the business operations smoothly and in an efficient way, but the experience of older people comes handy while taking important decisions.
Submitted by sharmanikhil05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: