Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities.

#parents #amount #violence #children #computer #games #tv #programs #leisure #activities

Nowadays, technology is an important part of our life. With increased demand for these electronic gadgets, like Online games, entertainment programs, etc. Parents have become more

concerened

feeling or showing worry or solicitude

concerned

about

thier

of them or themselves

their

children's behaviours as most of the games

potray

portray in words

portray

voilence

an act of aggression (as one against a person who resists)

violence

. Children believe what they see and they react the same way in real life too. There are many ways to solve these problems. We shall be discussing these in detail in following paragraphs.

First

of all, it is the duty of the parent to keep an eye on their children while playing online video games as these can

effect

have an effect upon

affect

mental health of children, if taken seriously. Children

uder

at a position directly lower than (with the subject just above)

under

age of 10 years are more prone

this

changing behaviour.

For Example

: A recent study has shown that kids who play Pub G for

consecutive 3 hours

Suggestion

a consecutive 3 hours

have slower brain.

Secondly

, Many parents have observed in teenager that they get influenced

with

Suggestion

the content easily.

Voilence

Suggestion

Violence

Valence

Valencia

has

harhmful effect

Suggestion

harmful effects

harmful effect

a harmful effect

adolosents

a juvenile between the onset of puberty and maturity

adolescents

For example

: A latest survey has shown that 90 percent of kids use aggression to solve

thier

of them or themselves

their

there

problems. They think that it is the only way of solution. To conclude, these networking sites can very dangerous. It can lead to various health problems

such

as aggression, depression, etc. Many people opine that excess of everything is dangerous

Accept space

Hence

, I

recomment

push for something

recommend

for

controlled

Suggestion

controlling

supervision of online content.

Submitted by reema.ratra7 on Sat Jan 04 2020

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

224 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Experts should beware of the consequences of a harmful lifestyle. Despite this warning, most people have already become addicted to the same types of activities. This essay will discuss several causes and suggest some solutions to tackle this problem

⁠The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem.