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Writing Samples
Band 3

Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities.

#parents #amount #violence #children #computer #games #tv #programs #leisure #activities
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Nowadays, technology is an important part of our life. With increased demand for these electronic gadgets, like Online games, entertainment programs, etc. Parents have become more
concerened
feeling or showing worry or solicitude
concerned
 about
thier
of them or themselves
their
 children's behaviours as most of the games
potray
portray in words
portray
voilence
an act of aggression (as one against a person who resists)
violence
. Children believe what they see and they react the same way in real life too. There are many ways to solve these problems. We shall be discussing these in detail in following paragraphs.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is the duty of the parent to keep an eye on their children while playing online video games as these can
effect
have an effect upon
affect
 mental health of children, if taken seriously. Children
uder
at a position directly lower than (with the subject just above)
under
 age of 10 years are more prone
this
Linking Words
 changing behaviour.
For Example
Linking Words
: A recent study has shown that kids who play Pub G for
consecutive 3 hours
Suggestion
a consecutive 3 hours
 have slower brain.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Many parents have observed in teenager that they get influenced
with
Suggestion
by
 the content easily.
Voilence
Suggestion
Violence
Valence
Valencia
 has
harhmful effect
Suggestion
harmful effects
harmful effect
a harmful effect
 on
adolosents
a juvenile between the onset of puberty and maturity
adolescents
.
For example
Linking Words
: A latest survey has shown that 90 percent of kids use aggression to solve
thier
of them or themselves
their
there
 problems. They think that it is the only way of solution. To conclude, these networking sites can very dangerous. It can lead to various health problems
such
Linking Words
 as aggression, depression, etc. Many people opine that excess of everything is dangerous
.
Accept space
.
Hence
Linking Words
, I
recomment
push for something
recommend
 for
controlled
Suggestion
controlling
 supervision of online content.
Submitted by reema.ratra7 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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