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Writing Samples
Band 4

Young people are often influenced by others in the same age in their behaviour and situations. This is called "peer group pressure". Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#people #age #behaviour #situations #peer #group #pressure
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The association of people is necessary to create a constructive and civilized
society
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. Without association and company of
same
Suggestion
the same age group
age
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group
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, the
society
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 cannot
longer
Suggestion
long
 survive. The best learning and the highest goal are only achieved by
peer
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group
Use synonyms
pressure
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
merits
Suggestion
the merits
 of
peer
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group
Use synonyms
pressure
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 outweigh its demerits.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is very beneficial for the
society
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 development to keep in touch with good peoples. Younger people are generally influenced by
behavior
Suggestion
the behaviour
behaviour
 of people of
same
Suggestion
the same age group
age
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group
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.
Peer
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group
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pressure
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 increase motivation, competition and dedication in the persons which is very good for the development of
society
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. It
also
Linking Words
 improves interpersonal skills and communication skills in the persons, which results in
development
Suggestion
the development
 of
overall personality
Suggestion
the overall personality
 of a citizen. Without
this
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, a person will be isolated and go
in
Suggestion
into
 depression.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, by working with
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group
Suggestion
a group
groups
 of people, a person will come to know about team spirit, in which citizens will express new ideas, thoughts and share feeling with the people of
same
Suggestion
the same age group
age
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group
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.
Also
Linking Words
, the best goals
are always achieve
Suggestion
are always achieved
are always to achieve
are always achieving
have always achieved
 in the
peer
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group
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pressure
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. World biggest achievements are in the company of
same
Suggestion
the same age group
age
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group
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a survey, the students of various universities are enrolled in the field of technology, by only developing their skills in
peer
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group
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pressure
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, without
this
Linking Words
, a person cannot live successful in the
society
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. All in all it is concluded that
peer
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
pressure
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 is
play
Suggestion
playing
 a very important role in our
life but
Suggestion
lives, but
lives but
 only if we come in contact with
good people
Suggestion
the good people
 of
same
Suggestion
the same age group
age
Use synonyms
group
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 because by contacting with bad people, we only encourage towards bad
habits so if
Suggestion
habits, so if
 we want to make our future
bright
Suggestion
brighter
 than only method is to live in the
society
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 of good people of
same
Suggestion
the same age group
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by receboveminaga02 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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