IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods
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The chart shows the number of men and women in
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. In 1970/71, part-time
education
Use synonyms
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 has
markedly
Add an article
a markedly
show examples
 bigger value than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
. Men have 1 million
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 participants in that year, but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 women have between 600 and 800
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
part-time
Add the comma(s)
,part-time
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 participants. There is
also
Linking Words
difference
Add an article
a difference
the difference
show examples
 between men and women in
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 participants, but there is no
considerably
Change the adverb
considerable
show examples
 difference between them. Full-time
education
Use synonyms
 rises slightly
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other years which is 1980/81 and 1990/91, but there is still
markedly
Correct article usage
a markedly
show examples
 difference between part-time
education
Use synonyms
 and full-time
education
Use synonyms
 for male and female. Part-time
education
Use synonyms
 changes fluctuated in males but
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
female
Add an article
the female
a female
show examples
 has a
markedly
Change the adverb
marked
show examples
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 part-time
education
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by akifyasiralikma on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 94%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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