IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Task 2: Some people believe tat the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefits the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Huge international companied play a crucial role in the global economies worldwide. Some people believe that they contribute to the economies of developing countries; while, others agree that they might bring harmful impacts. The essay will discuss both views and
also
 state my view that international companies definitely benefit local economies in developing countries.
To begin
 with, international companies will enhance local economies in developing countries via one or more following factors,
such
 as foreign capitals, relevant knowledge and
technique
Suggestion
technical
 support, and so on.
For example
, in early 2000, once Apple decided to make an
investment
 to build a factory in Shenzhen, China. The
investment
 assisted Shenzhen to transform into a high technique city rather than a city only focusing on
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 factories. Without the
investment
 from Apple,  Shenzhen might not
developed
Suggestion
develop
 into a metropolis which is
focus
Suggestion
focused
 on
high edge
Suggestion
the high edge
 of technology in the past 20 years. 
On
Suggestion
In
By
 contrast, not all people
agree the view
Suggestion
agree with the view
 above and they believe the opposite view that international companies may bring drawbacks to local economies in developing countries.
Firstly
, they will absolutely bring competition for  domestic  businesses
.
Accept space
.
Many small
business
Suggestion
businesses
 might shut down due to lack of competition capacities
.
Accept space
.
For example
, many
private convenient
Accept comma addition
private, convenient
 stores have closed down after the opening of Walmart and other international supermarkets in Shenzhen.
In addition
, international companies might bring foreign working ethics. The ethics might create conflict with local working ethics in developing countries and might change local residents’ personal values. I personally agree that international companies will contribute local economies in developing countries because they will speed up the development of different sectors in developing countries by financial
investment
. The capital,  knowledge and value working ethics from international countries will help developing countries to save much time and money because they did not need to invest money in researches or discussing strategies.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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