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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other language in addition to English in 2000 and 2010

The charts below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other language in addition to English in 2000 and 2010
#show #proportion #british #students #university #england #language #addition #english
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The given
piecharts
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pie charts
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demonstrates
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demonstrate
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 the
percentage
 of
british
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British
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students
 at the
tertiaryin
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tertiary
England where
for
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apply
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speaking
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
language
 were more
convinent
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convenient
 in
comparision
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comparison
 with
english
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English
show examples
 in the year 2000 and 2010.
overall
, it can be seen the proportion of British
students
 were more
famaliour
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familiar
 to speak Spanish in both
the
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apply
show examples
years .
whereas
,the least spoken
language
 was German. there were six different
vernacular
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vernaculars
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 used by the university
students
. Travelling in detail we can observe that, the highest
percentage
 of speaking dialect was of
Spanish
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the Spanish
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language
on
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in
show examples
 both the years with the ratio of 30 and 35 but,the lowest proportion was of many.
German
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The German
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language
 was the least spoken with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 ratio of 10 in both
the
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apply
show examples
years. French
tounge
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tongue
 had a decreased
percentage
 from 15 to 10
while
, the two other
language
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languages
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 was spoken
in
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at
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increased rate from 10 to 15
percentage
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per cent
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. There were
also
 few British
students
spaking
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speaking
 only their mother
toungue
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tongue
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
decreased
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decrease
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 in ratio from 20 ta 10 in
this
 period.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, students, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingualism
  • multilingual
  • language proficiency
  • secondary language
  • language diversity
  • globalization
  • educational policies
  • international communication
  • curriculum
  • proportion
  • increase/decrease
  • predominant language
  • communicative competence
  • linguistic skills
  • bar charts
  • data comparison
  • cultural exchange
  • foreign language acquisition
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