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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize and report the information.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize and report the information.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #report #information
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The pie charts present information related to
water
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 consumption by three main sectors in six
regions
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 of the world. Let’s explore
further
Linking Words
 how
water
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 is used across these
regions
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. It is evident that agriculture commands the largest share of
water
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 in four out of the six
regions
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 industry is the biggest
water
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 user in the other two.
Water
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 use for agricultural purposes is the highest in Central Asia with a whopping 88% share,
however
Linking Words
, at the other end of the scale, agriculture accounts for only 32% of Europe’s
water
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 budget.
Industry
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The industry
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 is the leading
water
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 user in both Europe (53%) and North America (40%), but
this
Linking Words
 sector’s demands are minimal in Central Asia (5%), Africa (7%), South America (10%) and South East Asia (12%).
Water
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 is diverted for domestic purposes the most in South America with a 19% share and with lower shares across other
regions
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 reflecting a global reality that domestic
water
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 use is never a leading
water
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 user.
Finally
Linking Words
,
water
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 consumption patterns are indicative of the
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regions’
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region’s
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 economies: the developed West allocates more
water
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 to “fuel” its industry,
whereas
Linking Words
 the “Global South” pumps
water
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 into its field to develop its agrarian-based economy.
Submitted by eliechnais on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, regions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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