IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree or disagree?

#employers #holidays #employees #job
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It is incontrovertibly true that employees seem to be extremely busy in
this
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 present scenario;
thus
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, according to some individuals, employers need to grant a long break to their employees for stimulating them in terms of doing the job well. I do not consent to
this
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 point of view, and
further
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, the other significant techniques that are must, yet to be
analyzed
examined carefully and methodically; broken down for consideration of constituent parts
analysed
 in the subsequent paragraphs. The other crucial ways need to be considered that seem to have the extreme benefits in certain ways, the
first
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 and foremost is a peaceful working environment, which increases the concentration of employees to
work
Use synonyms
 more with the full of efficiency. Apart from
this
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, strong bonding among the colleagues leads to major solutions, whereby the employees can solve the difficulties in order to get good results
for
Suggestion
in
 the production of the firm. Good salary packages include incentives that are a must for employees, thereby achieving any complicated challenge as these kinds of appreciations enable them to
work
Use synonyms
 with full of dedication.
Furthermore
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, making employees feel valued is likely to be the foremost way to motivate them towards
work
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. To elaborate, it is apparent that workers
work
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 hard while they come to know that they are being appreciated by their employer.
Moreover
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, employers need to be capable to understand the needs of their employees, which are related to money, health, and family; meanwhile, they can realize the sympathy of the boss for them, and
thereafter
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, try to be loyal to their
work
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. In conclusion, though longer holidays are extremely beneficial for employees, having said that the significance of other major factors that are fruitful for both the employer and employee, it can never be overlooked;
hence
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, these should be preferable at
first
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 except for longer holidays.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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