some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today, in
this
modern era due to the development of high technologies and busy schedules
,
Accept space
,
sometimes parents are so involved in earning money that, they
forgets
Suggestion
forget
to look after their children. But in few places parents are so
involve
Suggestion
involved
in deciding their children's life which
really impact
Suggestion
really impacts
their children's thoughts and growth.
Therefore
, parents should be always careful while raising their children.
First
of all, in my opinion all the
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
are not same
,
Accept space
,
as their way of
response
Suggestion
responding
, thinking, adaptation everything is different and concerning that parents has to
response
Suggestion
respond
.It's true that
its
it is
it's
very important for parents to encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free
time
.
For instance
, at
this
stage of development they will learn things quicker in
group
Suggestion
a group
or organization, they will
also
make new friends and able to learn the way of society which assist them in their growth and development.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
now a days
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
are more involved in playing games and they prefer
Suggestion
prefer more involved in playing games and they
are more involved in playing games and they preferring
are more involved in playing games and they preferred
are more involved in playing games and they prefer
to spend their free
time
alone not
Accept comma addition
alone, not
being socialise, in
such
situation parents have to encourage them to spend their
time
more properly
otherwise
such
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
are more prone for mental disease instance like loneliness, depression
ect
.
However
, in
few cases
Suggestion
a few cases
,
Accept space
,
it's better to let children
to learn
Suggestion
learn
how to occupy themselves on their own.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
children who are intelligent enough to know what to do, if you tell them to do things they may not like it which may become a cause of change in their
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
and thinkings.
Additionally
,
Accept space
,
sometimes you should let them spend their
time
as they
wish so that,
Suggestion
wish, so that
later they will learn
lesson
Suggestion
the lesson
a lesson
lessons
of their wrong doing and they will always be careful of not repeating their mistake. To conclude, as being the parents
,
Accept space
,
it's their love and responsibility to encourage their children to do things, but at some point they should keep in mind that their children are grown enough to know what is good and bad.
Submitted by tnyidon193 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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