Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that these activities are not good for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recently, some people argued that watching television and playing video
games
are not beneficial to younger generations' mental
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
claim, as these activities promote violence and can deliver a message that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not suitable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
young audiences.
To begin
with, the advent of televisions and vast options of
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
to watch, are not helping children to achieve optimal mental health.
This
activity is readily available with a single click
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the remote control, which is very detrimental to younger viewers without parental guidance.
In other words
, youngsters can access the wide array of
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
which can have scenes that
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
show examples
good manners and proper conduct that later on they can adapt.
Although
there is a regulating body,
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
is responsible
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
scrutinizing the episodes that can be watched, we can never
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
that all scenes promote a healthy mentality
such
as adultery and crimes.
In addition
, playing video
games
is not suited for children as
this
exposes them to violence and aggression. The available
games
,
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for example
, Contra and Street Fighter are being inspired by battle and power that promotes the principle of 'survival of the fittest" and the weakest link will
be perish
Change the verb form
perish
show examples
.
This
kind of mentality is dangerous to young generations as they can adapt
this
and apply
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
their everyday life. In effect, children can be aggressive in the future and will
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
the spirit of camaraderie, and always
aiming
Wrong verb form
aim
show examples
to be the best at the expense of others. In conclusion, I totally believe that watching a lot of
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and playing video
games
are not healthy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
mental health because
this
can promote violence and delinquency that can be acquired later on in their lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and covers all aspects of the question. Provide a clear and balanced argument with supporting evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas and ensure that there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas and create a logical flow.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: