IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

many employers offer their employees gyms,sports club. Others believe that it is unnecessary. discuss both views and give your own opinion .

#employers #offer #employees #gyms #sports #club
Workers are one of the
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 why
company
earn
Suggestion
earns
 and getting bigger.
employer
Suggestion
The employer
Employer
An employer
 should treat
there
of them or themselves
their
employee
Suggestion
employees
 as family for them to
work
 harder.
big
Suggestion
Big
 or small
company
offer
Suggestion
offers
 lots of benefits and give bonuses.
that's
Suggestion
That's
 the good thing in
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
company
. Employers who
offer
 gyms
,
Accept space
,
sports
club
 to
there
of them or themselves
their
 employee is
great but
Accept comma addition
great, but
 there's an advantage and
disadvange
the quality of having an inferior or less favorable position
disadvantage
 of
this
.
not
negation of a word or group of words
Not
 all
company
Suggestion
companies
 afford or provide
this
 kind of
offer
.
some
Suggestion
Some
 of us
also
 can't afford to go
gym
Suggestion
the gym
 or
sport's
Suggestion
sports
club
 because they lot's of expenses.
Employer
Suggestion
An employer
The employer
 who
offer
Suggestion
offers
 gyms and sports
club
 is a sign that
your
Suggestion
you're
 in good
company
 the
adavantge
the quality of having a superior or more favorable position
advantage
 of
this
 is that you can make your body fit after your
work
 you can go to
gym
Suggestion
the gym
 and do some exercise without paying.
the
Suggestion
The
 disadvantage of
this
isnthat
everything you own; all of your assets (whether real property or personal property) and liabilities
estate
 some people gives
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of
there
of them or themselves
their
 time in gyms sometime they forgot about
there
of them or themselves
their
work
 because of spending time in the gym.
Offring
Suggestion
Offering
 gyms and sports
club
 is
nessesary
absolutely essential
necessary
 in some aspect it depends
of
Suggestion
on
 what types of
work
 do you have.
is
Suggestion
Is
 it useful for some it is not useful for
others but
Accept comma addition
others, but
 for me is it useful in other way.
Submitted by aguirreliza07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • subsidize
  • team-building
  • productivity
  • healthcare costs
  • attractive work environment
  • personal health
  • physical fitness
  • corporate wellness programs
  • occupational progress
  • absenteeism
  • nonintrusive
  • employee benefits
  • work-life balance
  • peer pressure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: