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Band 6.5

The charts show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010

The charts show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010
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The pie charts compare the percentages of British
students
Use synonyms
 at the particular university who spoke different languages
in addition
Linking Words
 to English, in two separate
years
Use synonyms
. It is clearly seen that in both
years
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, the majority of British
students
Use synonyms
 studying at the university were able to speak at least one foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that amount of
second
Linking Words
 and
Linking Words
third
Add a hyphen
third-language
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 speakers increased over the
10 year
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
 period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the year 2000, 80% of the
students
Use synonyms
 were able to speak one or more foreign languages, and 20% only spoke English. After ten
years
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, there was a rise of 5% in the proportion
those
Change preposition
of those
show examples
 who spoke
Linking Words
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
 foreign
language
Use synonyms
. There was
also
Linking Words
 an increase from 10% to 15%, in the proportion who were capable to speak two other languages. Looking at the specific
second
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
 spoken, in the year 2000, 30% of the
students
Use synonyms
 could speak Spanish, 15% spoke French, and 10% spoke German. Ten
years
Use synonyms
 later, the proportion of Spanish speakers grew to 35%, there were 5%
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 French speakers, and those who spoke German remained stable.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, years, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
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