IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many places women are taking jobs which are traditionally done by men. What do you think make these change happen. What's your opinion about it.

#places #women #jobs #men #change
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There are no difference between man and women. Because women are more self employed and confident. They prove their ability in traditionally man dominated jobs. In
this
Linking Words
 essay we will discuss the reason for
change
Suggestion
the change
. The
first
Linking Words
 reason is that women are getting more opportunity. Nowadays, women have started working outside the home In many countries. And it is clear that they are able to do jobs which were traditionally only held by
man
Suggestion
men
a man
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, today women are more educated than past and they are going for higher education.
Therefore
Linking Words
, higher positions in any company, low, politics and many other
field
Suggestion
fields
 can be held by women.
Moreover
Linking Words
, today anyone is trained to do any type of
work
Use synonyms
. People do not give
importants
the quality of being important and worthy of note
importance
important
 to gender differences.
In other
Linking Words
words we
Accept comma addition
words, we
 can say that women may be stronger than men, while some male individuals may be more sensitive than women, and more caring about their families than women. On
other hand
Suggestion
the other hand
, in
past women
Suggestion
the past women
 worked in their home. Even, girls were not allowed to go to school in many places. Fortunately, if they allowed to
work
Use synonyms
, they could do only sensitive
work
Use synonyms
 like teachings, nursing and social
work
Use synonyms
. But now men and women both have trained in their
work
Use synonyms
 with their own abilities. They both walk shoulder to shoulder. To sum up, now women are proving their self in many ways. That's why they are taking those jobs which are traditionally done by men.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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