Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports starts are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

People have seen that the popular celebrities have earned extremely enormous money because they have spent a lot when they purchase or show off something. Some people have complained that their salaries are quiet much for them.
This
essay will discuss about the moderate amount of salaries that they should acquire. Due to some people who have gained a lot of money, other important jobs cannot earn
same level
Suggestion
the same level
with their effort
such
as teachers,
fire fighters
a member of a fire department who tries to extinguish fires
firefighters
and police officers because of the imbalance of salary.
In contrast
, entertainers are earning with their talent so that they can express their own skills,
however
, people have to train and study for a long time to be entitled as teachers and police officers.
In deed
Suggestion
Indeed
, they have given strong impact in society; teaching children and protecting citizens from danger and terror.
Therefore
, the government should provide the same level of net with their effort and influence not their popularity.
On the other hand
, of course, they have to obtain a lot of cash. Because, the entertainers have grown their talent
that is
why they have
became
Suggestion
become
popular in their countries and all over the world.
For instance
, people usually have not bought the songs of unacquainted singers and the movies of unfamiliar
actors even
Accept comma addition
actors, even
if those are better than the known musicians and stars. Their income
have been
Suggestion
has been
unstable,
therefore
, their account balances are reasonable.
This
essay
argue
Suggestion
argues
that even if the entertainers deserve those pays, some other jobs should secure more net than now like their effort. In my opinion, the federal government should make several laws and benefits for other careers, so, they will not feel discriminated.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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