IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #action
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people tend to purchase expensive
products even
Accept comma addition
products, even
 though they do not need them and land themselves in the debt trap. Commercial advertising, consumerism, and an increase in the usage of
credit
 card are some of the reasons for
this
 trend.
However
, there are several measures that can be taken to discourage people from overspending. These include encouraging saving habits and discouraging the use of
credit
 cards. To commence with, it is a globally accepted fact that TV-advertisements have a significant impact on an individual’s life. These commercials presented and pretended to be used by famous celebrities easily grab people’s attention and drive them to buy it even though they do not need it.
Moreover
, consumerism is deleterious to society. Some people cannot resist the urge to splurge after seeing attractive sales offers.
Besides
, increasing usage of plastic
money mainly,
Suggestion
money, mainly
credit
 cards, provides consumers with the opportunity to spend more than they can afford. Many people intentionally use their
credit
 cards to pay for an overpriced item, as they can pay off the
money
 in instalments. All these factors jointly persuade an individual to expend more than they can afford on needless things.
However
, discouraging the use of
credit
 cards can prevent people to some extent from spending a greater amount of
money
 on unwanted things.
In addition
, the government should encourage saving habits among people by introducing attractive deposit schemes. In conclusion, though commercials, the consumptive lifestyle, and plastic
money
 encourage people to spend more on unnecessary or useless things, encouraging saving habits and making
credit
 cards inaccessible will coerce an individual to spend less and save more for
future
Suggestion
the future
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: