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Band 5

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#organizations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
It is essential to participate and witness social events
such
 as sports or cultural based meets in today's busy lifestyle. Spending money on
such
 events entirely depends on the interest of a person. In my opinion, it is good to spend on
such
 events because it keeps the mind fresh but it has its own drawbacks too. On one hand, it aids the local players and motivates them. I believe buying tickets
not only supports
Suggestion
aren't only supporting
 the
players but
Accept comma addition
players, but
also
 the local business around like cafe, shops, taxi drivers etc.
For example
: when
cricket world cup
Suggestion
the cricket world cup
 happened in India, people from all over the world came to watch the match which helped a lot of businesses like taxis, hotels.
Therefore
, it helps the economy if we look at the bigger picture.
Moreover
, a fan will prefer going to the stadium and watch the sport which gives them an extraordinary live experience which internet will not give.
On the other hand
, there are many illegal activities happening
such
 as match fixing and betting which can have ill effects. The employment opportunities are
also
 short term as once the event is
over those
Accept comma addition
over, those
 employees are not required anymore. To summarize, I would say everything has a
drawback but
Accept comma addition
drawback, but
 at
times
Suggestion
time
 advantages outweigh disadvantages.
Therefore
, if more people spend money on sports events
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 it will definitely help the local businessmen and
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 if they are large scale events.
Although
, there are disadvantages of betting, but one needs to realize the consequences and know where to draw the line. Incorrect sentence
formation eg
Accept comma addition
formation, eg
:
Although
 there are advantages of something, but one needs to realize where to draw the line....
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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