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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #population #figures #japan #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given chart provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan's
population
Use synonyms
 in millions from 1950 to 2055 and the table gives information about the part of the
population
Use synonyms
 who were older than 65
years
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
,
at
Change preposition
in
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 1950
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
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population
Use synonyms
 was
least
Correct article usage
the least
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 recorded,
the
Correct word choice
but the
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 grows gradually and reaches its peak value
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2005 from
then
Linking Words
 the Japanese
head
Correct your spelling
headcount
show examples
count
Use synonyms
 started declining and the prediction is that
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2055 their
population
Use synonyms
 will be as low as their
population
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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100
years
Use synonyms
 ago From the graph we can observe that the least recorded
population
Use synonyms
 from the year 1950 to 2055 is 84.1
million
Use synonyms
 recorded in the year 1950 and the
people
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 who are older than 65
years
Use synonyms
 are 4.1
million
Use synonyms
 in number which
constitute
Change the verb form
constitutes
show examples
 around 5% of the total
population
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 The predicted
second
Linking Words
 least
count
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 happens at 2055 which is similar to the
population
Use synonyms
count
Use synonyms
 in 1955, 90
million
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 but the percentage of
people
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 over 65
years
Use synonyms
 in doubled in 2055 than 1955. Though the Japanese
population
Use synonyms
 makes a steady climb from
84.1million
Correct your spelling
84.1 million
 in 1950 to 127.8
million
Use synonyms
2005
Change preposition
in 2005
show examples
, from there onwards it is predicted that the Japanese
population
Use synonyms
 will face a sharp downfall in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 growth and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will reach 89.9
million
Use synonyms
 in 2055. Though their
population
Use synonyms
count
Use synonyms
 decreases after 2005, the percentage
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 older than 65
years
Use synonyms
 constantly increases. It is predicted that
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2055 nearly 40% of their
population
Use synonyms
 will be older than 65
years
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, which is more than 8 times
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of older
people
Use synonyms
 in 1950.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, years, count, million, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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