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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart demonstrates the people
count
Use synonyms
 who
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 pursuing higher
education
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 in Britain every decade from 1970 to 1990, split by course type and gender. The trend for the number of men in full-time
education
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 is slightly fluctuating between 800 and 1000. It was reduced to around 850 in 1990/81 from their starting
count
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 of 1000 in 1970/71.
Then
Linking Words
, it rose to 900 in 1990/91.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
count
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 men in part-time
education
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 steadily increased from roughly 100 in 1970/71 to a peak of over 200
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
third
Linking Words
 decade. Turning to
women
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's
education
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, the number of
women
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 in full-time
education
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 consistently increased from 800 in 1970/71 to over 1000 which is nearly more than half of its initial
count
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 in 1990/91.
Similarly
Linking Words
, The part-time
education
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count
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also
Linking Words
 reflects the same pattern as that of full-time
education
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. Starting with a
count
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 of just around 100 to 200 towards the end. In Summary, part-time
education
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 gained popularity among men and
women
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 over the decades.
However
Linking Words
, the majority of people taking full-time
education
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 in the later period of the decade are
women
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.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words count, education, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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