Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

The trend of current nuclear family with a single child or maximum two children has led to a different lifestyle than that of what we all have grown up. As a
part
of joint family, we were always surrounded by kids and cousins to indulge in games and entertainment.
Currently due
Accept comma addition
Currently, due
to our work demands and city life, children are not exposed to
gathering
Suggestion
gather
with relatives and
this
leads to a sedentary in-house routine rather than outdoor fun with other
piers
a person who is of equal standing with another in a group
peers
. In my opinion because of
this
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
and busy schedule of parents, I would encourage my kid to take
part
in group activities and ensure to
enroll
register formally as a participant or member
enrol
him
to
Suggestion
in
classes of his interests
such
as swimming, dance, music, martial arts and so on.
This
will lead to
socializing
Suggestion
socialized
, build trust with one another, respect and understand each other’s feelings.
Also
Accept comma addition
Also, this
this
enhances physical fitness and they learn to become independent and confident to handle themselves without any support from their parents which is required for the present challenging world.
On the other hand
, when children are not encouraged for group activities and allowed to be occupied
on
Suggestion
with
their own they end up locked in a single room in front of TV, mobile or computers just playing games and watching videos.
This
leads to solitary
confinement which
Accept comma addition
confinement, which
in the near future might turn into rage due to loneliness and depression causing a bad impact on their development as they never learnt to be a
part
of anyone around them. To summarize the importance of the situation, it is best advisable for parents to cheer their little ones to play outside the house, mingle with their friends, and be a
part
of the group activities in order to build a strong and healthy relationship that would in turn make our children the best individual in the society.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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