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Writing Samples
Band 5

the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption

the bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption
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The data sources clearly communicate the difference in
electricity
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production
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 and consumption in various
countries
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 in 2014. At first glance, it can be seen that the amount of
electricity
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 produced was larger than its usage in most of the given nations, and China and the US were
on
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at
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 the top of the list in generating and using
electricity
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. In the top ten
countries
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, China took the first place
in
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apply
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with both
production
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 and consumption of
electricity
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 being just over 5,300
billion
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kWh
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 each, at 5398
billion
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kWh
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 and 5322
billion
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kWh
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 respectively. The United State consistently ranked
second
Linking Words
 with 4099
billion
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kWh
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 in
production
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 and 3855
billion
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kWh
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 in
electricity
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 usage,
following
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followed
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 by Russia where its citizens only used 1038
billion
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kWh
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 out of 1067
billion
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kWh
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 of
electricity
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 produced.
While
Linking Words
 Japan and India
lied
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lay
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fourth and fifth place with more than 800
billion
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kWh
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 of
production
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, Canada and other European
countries
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, namely France, Brazil and Germany were at lower ranks, ranging from 582.5 to less than 620
billion
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kWh
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.
Korean
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Korea
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 was
in
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at
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 the bottom of the list with only 485
billion
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kWh
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 of
production
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 and 449.5
billion
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kWh
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 of
electricity
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 usage.
While
Linking Words
 the amount of
electricity
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production
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 was higher than its consumption in 9 out of 10
countries
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, Germany bucked the trend to have 582.5
billion
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kWh
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 of
electricity
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 consumed
while
Linking Words
 only 526.6
billion
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kWh
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 was produced.
Submitted by vnpu98 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, production, countries, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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