IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. you phoned the shop but no action was taken. write a letter to shop manager. in your letter describe the problem with the equipment explain what happened when you phoned the shop say what you would like the manager to do

#piece #equipment #kitchen #work #shop #action #manager
In
this
 information era, due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced technology, it is quite common for
people
 to socialize on the
Internet
. It is a positive trend, but
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 a series of problems
also
 occur
as a result
. The advantages of social networking are obvious.
People
 can enlarge the circle of
friends
, as there are no geographical restrictions. A good example of
that is
 a Taiwanese student can discuss
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 latest film with a British student on the
Internet
, which they can exchange ideas much easier than
face-to-face
Add an article
a face-to-face
show examples
 discussion.
Also
,
people
 can make
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
virtual
friends
, who have the same interests as them. It is an effective way that
people
 could have a better understanding of history, culture and customs from different regions.
In addition
, various
people
 feel more comfortable when they socialize online. Many of them rather communicate with strangers on the web than invite their
friends
 into their houses for a chat.
However
, the problems relevant to socialize on the web should not be ignored.
People
’s social life seems to be dominated by the
Internet
. There is a huge number of
people
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
 in virtual space and ignore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication with others in real life.
For instance
, some young
people
 rarely see their relatives or
friends
 in real life and they only talk on the
Internet
. As a consequence, their relationships become alienated. What is worse is that a growing number of
people
 get addicted to socializing in the virtual space, which affects the development of their social skills. These
people
 may become isolated and have difficulty in communicating Overall, it is unavoidable that
people
 spend more time interacting with their
friends
, but we should take measures to control our screen time. Apart from
this
, due to the
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
 technology, which is considered as a symbol of progress in
this
 fast-changed world.
However
, how to tackle the consequence problems is still a challenge.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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