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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the proportions of water which is used for various purposes in six countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the proportions of water which is used for various purposes in six countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart provides information about how much
electricity
Use synonyms
 was generated and used by the top ten countries in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 was always slightly higher than
electricity
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in all countries, except
in
Change preposition
apply
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Germany, and that
China
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 produced and consumed by far the largest amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
. (
China
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 were the biggest producer and
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
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 of
electricity
Use synonyms
) Looking at the first
data
Correct your spelling
date
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, on
electricity
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
, in more detail, it can be seen that the amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 which was produced in
China
Use synonyms
 stood at 5,398 billion kWh (
bkWh
Use synonyms
), which is the highest value on the chart, followed by the
USA
Use synonyms
 at 4,099
Use synonyms
bkWh
Correct your spelling
kWh
.
Production
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in Russia, Japan and India was 1,057, 936.2 and 871
Use synonyms
bkWh
Correct your spelling
kWh
, respectively. The amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 which was generated in Canada, France, Brazil and Germany all fell within
range
Add an article
the range
a range
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 of 526.6
bkWh
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 to 618.9
Use synonyms
bkWh
Correct your spelling
kWh
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
electricity
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 in the Republic of Korea was the lowest, at 485.1
Use synonyms
bkWh
Correct your spelling
kWh
. Turning to
data
Correct article usage
the data
show examples
 set on
electricity
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
, it is evident that
electricity
Use synonyms
 of
production
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 the highest, at 5,322
bkWh
Use synonyms
 and 3,866
bkWh
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Electricity
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consumption
Use synonyms
 in the remaining countries all fell within the range of 1,038
bkWh
Use synonyms
 (Russia) to 449.5 (Republic of Korea). Notably, Germany was the only country where
consumption
Use synonyms
 was higher than
production
Use synonyms
, at 526.6
bkWh
Use synonyms
 and 582.5
bkWh
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, production, consumption, china, usa, bkwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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