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Band 4

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism industry.

#places #world #tourism #source #income #industry
Nowadays,
Toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 as a modern method for earning
money
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been employed by governments in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries.
Although
 there are a number of drawbacks
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 trend, the benefits accruing to places that attract tourists are by no means negligible. On the plus side, the advantages of travelling
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
 to attractive places are manifold.
To begin
 with, By travelling,
tourism
Correct word choice
and tourism
show examples
 to specific
spots
, most of the individuals in the world know more about them.
To
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Simply put, by increasing the number of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 visiting
cities
, they are more likely to spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 daily routine activities
such
 as accommodation, eating and entertaining, which would
be result
Change the verb form
result
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 chance for local
people
. Take the tourist necessities as an example; by
enchaining
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
 the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists, job opportunities for local
people
 would be increased.
Thus
, the more income at the
tourism
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
spots
, the more facilities to improve quality of the life for local
people
.
However
, the downside cannot be ignored.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
 are concerned with crowded
cities
.
that is
 to say
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
at
Add the comma(s)
, at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the breathtaking places
for visiting
Change preposition
to visit
show examples
, living
people
 have to participate
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 facilities of
cities
 with
new comers
Correct your spelling
newcomers
show examples
 for several days. Considering that visitors are coming to spend their pastime
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they need more fun
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can bother
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local
people
. A good illustration
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 is soaring traffic, which can incredibly annoy
people
 who are neighbourhood with visitors.
Hence
, government authorities would not have any profit from
income
Add an article
the income
show examples
 of attraction
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism, but they should invest
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge amount of
money
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 increasing
Correct article usage
the equipments
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 of
cities
.
To conclude
, earning
money
 from
attraction
Add an article
the attraction
show examples
 of visitors to tourist
spots
 can be rewarding and problematic.
While
 they might help to enhance job opportunities,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can interrupt the routine life of local
people
 in these
spots
.
Submitted by f_shahbazi on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.
task response
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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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