IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Since the 18th century technological advance have replaced people in the workplace. with today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#century #advance #people #workplace #technology #process #rate #unemployment
Technological advances always have an impact on people at the task. Sometimes it can mean that people are no longer necessary in their jobs, but sometimes they make people work easier. We can define automation as scientific knowledge used for practical purposes in industry and commerce. I would
also
 like to make a
further
 distinction between
this
 and high machinery, which is electronic or information technology. In my view, automation really began to have an effect on business in the early in the 20t century. The result of
this
 was that certain industries like the car industry did not really need as many people, as automated machines and robots were able to do jobs
such
 as painting the van, or putting the wagon together.
However
, if we now turn to look at the effect of high technology on the workplace, in my opinion, there has been a different effect. It is true that computers are able to do some things that people used to do and advanced in high machinery have made people's lives better through improvement in communication.
For example
, now we have e-mail, MSN and some electronic tool chat with friends or business partners.
In addition
, people working in services industries like banking use computers much more
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 pen and paper nowadays.
In addition
, some job can be done from home, which means that people do not need spend time travelling and can work where and when they want to. In conclusion, technology has resulted in unemployment in some traditional industries like car production.
On the other hand
, in other industries
such
 as services industries, machinery has improved the way the performance.
Submitted by aziza.baqery on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: