IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. do you agree

#employers #holidays #employees #job
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Vacations
also
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 vital for everyone and it
also
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 helps people to relax and make them feel motivated. To make the
work
Use synonyms
 life balance employers should take an initiative on lengthy holidays than short breaks, if they start working on
this
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 pattern, it may increase the efficiency at
work
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 as well as it creates motivations among employees, which can result in better
work
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with the above idea.
This
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 is often obverse that, if a worker is working for a longer time it reduces the quality of task and employee can become lethargic, which can affect the performances of their job. That's the reason holidays are essential to rejuvenate the body and mind at the same time it should not be too short break of a day, its need for little longer, so that they will be able to rejoin the workforce with better energy and enthusiasm. Denmark recently made changes in their
work
Use synonyms
 system, wherein there will be about 4 days working and 3 days off.
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However
Accept comma addition
However, such
such
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 changes in the labour law to help people
work
Use synonyms
 with full motivation and dedication which at the same time increased the efficiency.
On the other hand
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, lengthy holidays help employees with their wellbeing additional it keeps them to be active and away from any stress.
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Moreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it
also
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 affected the health and because of which jobs at delayed and neglected.
For example
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, if a person is not well rested they will not try for their
nextday
Suggestion
next day
. To conclude, In my opinion organisation should look into changing their
work
Use synonyms
off
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
 laws for the betterment of both.
vacation
Suggestion
Vacation
 is must and it should be taken into consideration by the employer that it should longer and not short, because more periods of holidays help worker deliver the best
work
Use synonyms
 and they
also
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 will be in good health to perform better in future run.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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