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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive pension at an early age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit
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Some people believe that to have a fixed
retirement
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 age for all
variety
Suggestion
varieties
 of
profession
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 is unfair and they believe that certain type of workers deserve an early
retirement
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 and pension. I do agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In
this
Linking Words
 essay we will discuss the which type of workers deserve it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, not all
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profession
Suggestion
professions
 involves
same level
Suggestion
the same level
 of risk, stress and obligations, some
profession
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 endures high grade of risk and not everyone wishes to choose that
profession
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. As
Use synonyms
profession
Suggestion
a profession
the profession
professions
 like serving in
military
Suggestion
the military
 includes
extreme range
Suggestion
an extreme range
 of threat to one’s life, since it requires people to work in combat roles facing death anytime. It is more like standing on a ticking bomb, for personnel involved in protecting the country, it is utmost important to provide them required additional benefits.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people working in radioactive zones
such
Linking Words
 as nuclear power plants, which supply uninterrupted power supply to the households and industries. During the crisis times involving nuclear accidents in places like Chernobyl and Fukushima, even though their lives were in danger, it is the brave scientists and physicists who saved the world from a dreadful contamination spread.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is essential for these professionals to be honoured with early
retirement
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 and pension. To conclude, it is of great importance for the professionals who selflessly work in
high risk area
Suggestion
high risk areas
a high risk area
 to be granted an early
retirement
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 and pension for their sacrifice and it would
also
Linking Words
 be ethical for an organization to do so, since most of the time the life expectancy of them would be less when compared to national average due to multiple reasons discussed above.
Submitted by balaji.singh94 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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