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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below shows the main reason for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers

The charts below shows the main reason for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers
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The showed chart illustrate the level of different age students, which study among
also
Linking Words
 receives help and support from employers.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 the
present
Replace the word
presence
show examples
 of people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 arrived for interest sharply increased followed by their age.
However
Linking Words
, another part of people who wanted
built
Change the verb form
to build
show examples
Add an article
a career
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 lost
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 interest.
In addition
Linking Words
, employers
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
supported young students until 26. After
compare
Change the verb form
comparing
show examples
 interest and career reasons for moving, around people younger than 26 we can see higher differences between them which constitute 70 %. But, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
courses and employer support show
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 40% across 40-49 years old persons.
Olders
Correct your spelling
Orders
Older
Elders
 just came like tourists and only almost 15% as
business
Add an article
a business
show examples
. Another interesting side is
peak
Correct article usage
the peak
show examples
 and weak points of material help which make up 65%,
35
Correct word choice
and 35
show examples
%. Support from employers decreased with growing up.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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