The charts below shows the main reason for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers

The charts below shows the main reason for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers
The showed chart illustrate the level of different age students, which study among
also
receives help and support from employers.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
the
present
Replace the word
presence
show examples
of people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
arrived for interest sharply increased followed by their age.
However
, another part of people who wanted
built
Change the verb form
to build
show examples
Add an article
a career
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
lost
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
interest.
In addition
, employers
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
supported young students until 26. After
compare
Change the verb form
comparing
show examples
interest and career reasons for moving, around people younger than 26 we can see higher differences between them which constitute 70 %. But, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
courses and employer support show
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
40% across 40-49 years old persons.
Olders
Correct your spelling
Orders
Older
Elders
just came like tourists and only almost 15% as
business
Add an article
a business
show examples
. Another interesting side is
peak
Correct article usage
the peak
show examples
and weak points of material help which make up 65%,
35
Correct word choice
and 35
show examples
%. Support from employers decreased with growing up.
Submitted by dudosh0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: