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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence in video games, television programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children? What could be done to solve this problem?

#parents #amount #violence #video #games #television #programs #leisure #activities #be #children
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It is an indisputable fact that nowadays every
child
Use synonyms
 has plenty of entertaining opportunities.
However
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, some of them contain
significant amount
Suggestion
a significant amount
 of violence and possibly bring the worst in a person.
Consequently
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, many adults are aware about
this
Linking Words
 problem and would like to solve it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine how
dangerous
Accept comma addition
dangerous, such
such
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 activities for youngsters are and an appropriate way to tackle
this
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 issue.
Firsty
preceding all others in time or space or degree
First
, a majority of horrors may
has
Suggestion
have
 a
drammatical
Suggestion
dramatic
dramatically
grammatical
 adverse effect on a
child
Use synonyms
’s mind.
The vivid
Suggestion
The most vivid
 example of
this
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 is a son of my friend, who could not sleep for a week without nightmares, after he had watched cruel legends of a his local city. It is hard to argue, that for younger kids
such
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 influence may be even stronger and may not be cured without special psychological help.
Therefore
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, it is undoubtedly true that brutal entertainments may lead to nightmares and other psychological problems for a
child
Use synonyms
.
However
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, parents can easily protect their
offsprings
Suggestion
offspring
 from watching brutal content by using specially-developed applications.
For instance
Linking Words
, plenty of
antiviruses
working against computer viruses, typically by detecting and deleting them before they can do any harm
antivirus
,
such
Linking Words
 as Kaspersky,
have
Suggestion
has
 an internal parental control and restrict children from
violense
an act of aggression (as one against a person who resists)
violence
 in the Internet. As it
also
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combains
have or possess in combination
combines
 with specially developed for youngsters applications,
such
Linking Words
 as
Youtube
Suggestion
YouTube
 For Kids, which have only safe content, the ability to provide plenty of entertainments for a
child
Use synonyms
 without
threating
interact in a certain way
treating
threatening
thrusting
 their spirit can be clearly seen.
Therefore
Linking Words
, parents have an ability to monitor their
childs’
Suggestion
Childs’
child
 activities and protect them from dangerous materials by using special software. To conclude, various entertainments,
such
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 as movies and articles, may contain a lot of violence. It may lead to sleeping problems, insomnia and nightmares if a
child
Use synonyms
 watch them. To protect their
descendants parents
Accept comma addition
descendants, parents
 should use
antiviruses
working against computer viruses, typically by detecting and deleting them before they can do any harm
antivirus
 and other
parential
designating the generation of organisms from which hybrid offspring are produced
parental
potential
 controlled applications. It is hoped that government would inform adults about measures which can be implemented to protect their
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 from
violense
an act of aggression (as one against a person who resists)
violence
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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