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Band 6

Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percent #percentage #women
A huge percentage of the executive positions in corporations are being occupied by the male populace despite the employment rate of female employees
at
Suggestion
as
 well over half of the total working population. It is viewed that firms must be mandated to designate a specific proportion of
such
 job placements to women. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the mindset of turning away from
such
 gender discrimination because all citizenry should be treated
as equals
Suggestion
as equal
 in the society.
To begin
 with, women are equally capable as men, so a gender bias concern should be addressed in the workplace. With the ever-changing world we are living today, women are working hard to prove their worth so certain positions must not be denied for them.
For instance
, recognition of valuable output contributed by the female population
are often being overshadowed
Suggestion
have often been overshadowed
 with the notion that men are superior beings. On
such
 ground, it is imperative that enterprises should start implementing policies to employ an agreed portion of their high ranking vacancies to be offered to female hired-hands.
Furthermore
, a solid foundation of fairness in the society must be established.
This
 means that the government should take action by formulating statutory laws that will encourage equality between genders. To illustrate, if a
compulsary
required by rule
compulsory
 legislation will be implemented by state authorities requiring companies to delegate managerial positions to women,
then
 the concern of gender inequality will be
resolve
Suggestion
resolved
. With that in mind, a balanced society offers a more promising progress for everyone. To summarize, I certainly concur that women should be given the opportunity to occupy high-ranking positions as a courtesy to acknowledge the contribution of women in the community.
Submitted by summerinparis.8828 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender disparity
  • glass ceiling
  • workforce representation
  • gender diversity
  • equal opportunity
  • professional advancement
  • social equality
  • gender equality
  • empowerment
  • barrier
  • discrimination
  • inequality
  • bias
  • reinforce
  • inclusive
  • combat
  • strive for
  • promote
  • nurture
  • enhance
  • progressive
  • implement
  • quota system
What to do next:
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