Some people feel that entertainer (e.g film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainer #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

Nowadays entertainment

buisness

a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it

business

become

Suggestion

becomes

quite popular across the globe and the proportion of celebrities increasing rapidly as well.

refers to the speaker or writer

strongly agree with

this

statement that stars,

such

as pop musicians, sports stars get paid a large amount of

money

that possibly can not

justified

Suggestion

justify

by their

work

they do. Span of few decades the tendency of watching movies and sports going to become exceeding.A star

earn

Suggestion

earns

money

through

represent

Suggestion

represents

their skills and ability to typical people.Sports celebrities are the most reliable to the government just because they

work

for the country's dignity.

For example

, Shakib Al

hasan

Suggestion

Hasan

is a world class

alrounder

a person who brings order and organization to an enterprise

arranger

bangladesh

a Muslim republic in southern Asia bordered by India to the north and west and east and the Bay of Bengal to the south; formerly part of India and then part of Pakistan; it achieved independence in 1971

Bangladesh

and he

get

Suggestion

gets

paid more than a

crore

a motor vehicle with four wheels; usually propelled by an internal combustion engine

car

within a year, but something he

deserve

Suggestion

deserves

it.

Moreover

, film stars earn more

money

compared to their

work

However

, they are the most demanding stars to a country. Meanwhile, musicians

are attend

Suggestion

are attending

are attended

a Concert for a large amount of

money

.Most of the time they perform for an

hour but

Accept comma addition

hour, but

they ask for a big

money

.From my point of view the expenditure of a

musician ia

Accept comma addition

musician, I

musician I

musician is

completely waste of

money

For instance

last

month in my area the most popular singer Tahsan Khan performed and he took one lake for two

hour

Suggestion

hours

which is

very unforseen phenomenon

Suggestion

a very unforeseen phenomenon

very unforeseen phenomenon

On the other hand

refers to the speaker or writer

think an

educatated

possessing an education (especially having more than average knowledge)

educated

employee deserve

overpaid who

Accept comma addition

overpaid, who

works for

socity

an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization

society

such

as, banker, police and so on.Government should enhance their opportunity to be well paid and they paid their adequate wage by justified their

work

. In conclusion, the consumption of celebrities

are

Suggestion

comparatively higher than their certain

work

to a very great extent or degree

we should

focouse

the concentration of attention or energy on something

focus

to the others

fild

a piece of land cleared of trees and usually enclosed

field

filed

failed

will be encouraging to them who working for the country and well paid will motivate them to

work

efficiently.

Tue Mar 24 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In the contemporary era, social media is utilized daily for communication and accessing news stories, becoming a commonplace activity. While this trend carries some drawbacks, this writer argues that the benefits of streamlining communication and enhancing news access outweigh the downside of toxic content.
7
band
Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.
In today’s modern society, children necessitate fundamental changes to educational platforms. Although traditional subjects such as Math, Literature or science are undoubtedly significant, personally, I strongly believe that schools should incorporate practical life skills like baking, dressmaking or wood-making into education systems.
7
band
Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In modern society, many enterprises commonly pay high salaries to their management executives, which is far more than normal staff. I agree with this kind of payment rule because I consider income as the most direct way to attract talented people which is beneficial for the development of the company, in addition, large income is also a reflection of the risks and duties which these managers need to bear as well. I will explain my views in the following essay.
5.5
band
Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?
Voluntary work is often considered a win-win practice to benefit teenagers and society, while I cannot agree that all teenagers are required to do so, as if it is compulsory.
6.5
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
A group of people believes that scientific experiments on animals are harmful and should be banished, whereas another group thinks that in some situations, it is the only way to do important scientific research for the good of human beings.

Some people feel that entertainer (e.g film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?